I always heard when women hit the forty-year milestone life is a smooth ride to the end. We will be kinder, we will have less body image issues, be financially secure, seen a lot of the world, and done our major bits for society through all kinds of charity. You know? That whole future-list thingy we write in our thirties.
Truth is we have less patience for nonsense; we save the kind lies for special occasions and speak the blunt truth more often, than not.
We know darn well it’s not the dress that is too small and we really don’t care a whole lot.
Financially secure means our kids are now self-sufficient.
When we were in our thirties life was a racetrack to the finish.
At forty our lives is more like a winding, meandering stroll that’s filled with stops and starts to smell the roses, or just to sit down and say, “wtf”.
Granted we might turn our ankles on pebbles and smack our faces into boulders but the main concern would be to staunch the flow of blood, not who just saw the epic crash.
We pick our battles wisely and leave the rest for the thirty-and-under crowd to deal with.
We are no longer militant feminists; we are simply feminists who deserve equality and we go about the business of achieving it for everyone.
We love cooking elaborate multi-course meals now.
We volunteer to do the dishes so we can have quiet time.
We get drunk on one glass of wine.
We are actually ashamed to wear clothing that has designer labels on the outside.
We choose ethical and Fair Trade products when shopping.
We spend more money on organic food than dining out.
We don’t have to see the movie on the big screen, we prefer Netflix for many reasons – it’s cheaper, don’t have to make conversation, and our pajamas are as pretty as any old dress, and it’s a lot more forgiving.
We listen more than we speak.
We’ve lived to see the day our daughters say thank you when someone said she’s just like her mom.
Charity means helping out and volunteering whenever we can.
Charity also means going for a mani/pedi. Humanitarian means splurging on an eyebrow threading. Philanthropy means bringing your friend along on her birthday.
In our thirties proving ourselves meant showing the world what we could do.
In our forties it really means proving to ourselves what we’re capable of – like when we’re aiming for that extra jump squat, or that next yoga class.
And we’ve seen a lot of the world – whether we’ve travelled far and wide, or we’ve sat in cafes and observed the crazy that is society.
Now we learn more from empathizing, than by getting banged up by life.
We understand the difference between pity and compassion.
Now we like ourselves, and the people who don’t like us can stay or go.
We have most definitely evolved into our forties and life is still a challenge – but damn it’s so much more fun to laugh often, let stresses go faster, stop agonizing over others’ actions and decisions, and to love and live in total abandon.
Maybe in our fifties we’ll have it all together but right now we know better than to make a list for the future.
Until next time keep up with my local community and gluten-free and organic food travels on instagram and twitter @glutenfreesam and for even more stories check out www.theprovince.com